But that's it as well, isn't it? The faculty are published authors. The students are published authors. Everyone here is so talented that I should have assumed they would be published and/or well known individuals in the world of books, and yet it still blows my mind every day.
I imagine that my world will be different when it isn't blanketed in white. Actually, my world is already different and will continue to change drastically. I just left a graduate with some wild thoughts in my head. First is this: It's almost over. My very first residency is almost over. It's been a hectic whirlwind but it's been so magical. I've met some famous authors. Hell, I've been taught by some famous authors. I've been floating in this fangirl dream haze for days now.
But that's it as well, isn't it? The faculty are published authors. The students are published authors. Everyone here is so talented that I should have assumed they would be published and/or well known individuals in the world of books, and yet it still blows my mind every day.
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Yes, this post will be related to Theta Phi and VCFA. Why, you ask? It's my blog, that's why. I make the rules. So grad school is different than undergrad, new experience blah blah blah. What I've recently discovered is how similar it is to being in a sorority. For instance, we had loads and loads of meetings and orientations in our first few days here. You walk into a room filled with people you don't know, plaster on a smile and circulate. For those of you with sorority experience what does this sound like? RECRUITMENT. Aka the most stressful week of the semester for me. I can't even tell you how much I hate meeting new people. I am so painfully awkward that I immediately feel bad for whoever gets stuck with me. The thing is, though, I learned how to be a better speaker. I'm still shy and awkward but I now know how to relate to people. I've made so many friends in five days it's ridiculous. Not just students, either. Mary Quattlebaum is the nicest woman I've ever had a conversation with and as an added bonus she loves Doctor Who. Actually, there are a lot of Whovians here, but that's another blog post. I have to take a moment to talk about how much I love my class. There are 24 of us, an even mix of seasoned writers and relative newbies. I met a few of them in the airport and even more at our millions of orientations. I've had my fair share of paranoia and immature panic attacks but they don't judge me for it. In fact, they have been nothing but supportive. Tonight, we had our second class reading, and I volunteered to read my workshop piece. In the middle of reading, however, I noticed that a block my text was missing. This was my workshop piece I'm talking about. As in my teachers as well as older students have read it and critiqued it. And it's screwed up. I stopped, not sure of what exactly the words said now and how I should proceed. My classmates didn't miss a beat though, and instantly urged me to continue. And I did. And it was freeing. Terrifying, but freeing. That's not to say that my workshop group won't tear it to pieces, but I already faced my fears. My class has already patted my back. It's the second day of residency. I am exhausted. I am so overwhelmed. I have never been so painfully aware of my age and inexperience. Honestly, I feel that I am looked down on for my age. It was actually mentioned that I write for teenagers "because I pretty much still am one." I laughed in response because, really, what do you say back to that? I didn't want to say anything about how that stung, but whatever, it's done now. She didn't know that I'm insecure about how young I am. Maybe it's a good thing that I write for teenagers so that I can really know how to connect to them. If we're like minded it should be easier, right? Small blessings. Well, here I am, in the last place I ever thought I'd be and it is BEAUTIFUL! I'm so excited to finally be here and to be surrounded by these brilliant people. I made a new friend, Kate, and we went exploring around the campus. The bookstore is adorable and I can't wait to buy way too many books when they open tomorrow (sorry Mom.) I'm so excited for this adventure. I had a conversation with one of the graduating students on the way here from the airport. Not only did she alleviate all of my fears (without knowing she was, mind you) she also opened my mind to new ideas. I was so set on coming in here and leaving with one complete YA novel, ready for publication. I still want to do that, my number one goal, but I want to try my hand at other genres as well. I think it takes an incredible amount of talent to write a picture book. I've tried it and had less than stellar results. I won't even tell you about the travesty that was my middle grade novel concept. The thing is, these people make me feel like I can do these things. Everyone has such different backgrounds and different goals but here we all are, learning from each other. Okay, this is all I can do for now. I have a meeting in ten minutes. The adventure is just beginning and I can't wait to report back with more fun experiences. Why does it take a new year to make us want to change ourselves? I never really considered it from that point of view before. It was always just sort of something I did because everyone else did: this year I'll be healthier, this year I'll work harder, blah blah blah. A year is a long time to make that kind of a commitment. It's a long time to forget you even made the commitment. So today I'll break that tradition. Today marks the day I will make resolutions for myself daily. I'm going to take the time to think about myself every day, not just once a year. |
AlexisMaster of Fine Arts from Vermont College of Fine Arts, Rowan University alumna, sister of Theta Phi Alpha, and future YA author extraordinaire. Archives
February 2017
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