Today I sat and reflected on how different my program is from other grad programs. For instance, in my plot workshop today I presented a plot chart and two writing prompts on Feed by M.T. Anderson. I did this lovely presentation with Monica, a friend of mine who is in her third semester here at VCFA. During this workshop I was incredibly inspired by my surroundings. I sat and looked out the window and wrote everything I saw: the quaint houses, the old buildings, the chipping paint on the window frame. I felt the sun through the glass. I heard the window unit kick on and off as it blasted cool air into the stuffy room. I was more connected to that than to the writing prompt that I helped create, and it was okay. I just went with what I felt, and I ended up with an interesting idea inspired by Feed. I found myself unable to let go of the connection to the place that I sat in. |
Next summer I have the opportunity to study abroad at Bath Spa Uni. I already planned to move to London with a very good friend of mine so this chance is a great one. Nothing is greater to me than the chance to travel and be inspired by other places. I find myself drawn to areas in the world that I can romanticize in my mind, such as an old manor in London or a school in Vermont full of old ghosts in old buildings.
The point is that I need to live in a place as magical as VCFA. I thrive off of places like this. The people, the buildings, the stories, the history both seen and unseen. I can just let my mind wander and go crazy. I want to live in London. I want to traipse around Paris. I want to explore a graveyard in New Orleans and wander through the French Quarter. I want to do everything. Small towns, big ones, near ones, far ones. I need to see it with my pen.
I hope I can take this inspiration home with me.
I'm sitting here looking at the Bath Spa Uni international student page and I'm slightly sad. I love VCFA, I honestly do. My classmates and the faculty are fantastic, I couldn't ask for better. I just feel like this isn't my end point. I belong here temporarily. Everything in me aches for adventure and new beginnings. I want to live the romantic life I dream of, wandering throughout the world and spinning words into stories.
I'm worried that I won't be able to afford the life that I think I deserve.
I won't let it stop me though, because it is the life I think I deserve. I spent too long sacrificing my own needs for the happiness of others. As I get older I'm learning to appreciate myself and my own needs more, and I need to live somewhere that inspires me daily.
One day soon.