He walked in the front door.
“Hi, how are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m nervous,” I said, shutting and locking the door. “Really nervous.”
“You don’t have anything to worry about,” he reassured me as he took in the small living room. “I won’t show anyone your face.”
I went around shutting all of the blinds, locking all of the windows. “Can I see the pictures once you’re done?”
“Sure,” he said, casually taking off his jacket and setting it on the couch with his camera bag.
“I can’t have my commanding officer find out,” I said, glancing around my small apartment. Gray walls, beige carpet, single bed, single chair. So lonely. So desolate. “This is all I have. If they find out, if Sean gets found out…”
“Is Sean your partner?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “He won’t be here today. He wasn’t comfortable with this.”
“I understand completely,” he said. “I would be wary to trust anyone with a camera to my secret.”
I nodded. “Where should we do this?” I asked. I wanted to get this over with.
“Can I take a look around first? See what I have to work with?”
I nodded.
I followed him through my living room around my meager living space. He looked in on my small, yellowed kitchen with its card table and single chair. From here to my tiny bathroom, complete with standard toilet, semi-functioning sink and dirty shower. Silently we entered my bedroom. Gray, gray, gray.
“I’m sorry it’s so… bare…” I said.
“It’s fine,” he replied. “I know these are standard issue. It’s easier this way anyway, less revealing details in the photo.”
I blinked.
“So did you want to get started?” he asked me.
“Sure,” I mumbled. “Where do I…?”
“Lets start out on the bed. Just sit at the end, lean with your hands over your face.”
Not so hard to do. I was already exhausted.
“Stand against the wall. Now look out the window.”
Flash.
“Sit in the wooden chair. Just look straight ahead.”
Flash.
“Jump up and down on your bed.”
Flash.
Flash.
Flash.
I could feel million of eyes watching me. Judging me. All focused into one tiny flash from a solitary man. I wasn’t brave; I was a coward. I wanted to hide.
“Did you want to see the photos now?” he asked.
I nodded.
Frame by frame every shot showed a sad man with no face. Anonymous in his fatigues and gray walls.
“This one is my favorite,” he said. “I think it sends a powerful message.”
An anonymous body seemingly hanging from an anonymous gray ceiling.
“Is this good?”
I nodded.