One of my best friends is leaving America in less than an hour. I'm proud of her, I really am. But she's been my partner in crime for so long that I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I tell her about all of my bad decisions and insecurities, and she tells me I'm fucking stupid and we laugh it off. No judgement. Ever. And now she's leaving me to go on this big adventure.
I would be a total fucking liar if I said I wasn't insanely jealous. I always have been, and it seems that won't ever change. Another one of my best friends just signed a lease for her first apartment with her boyfriend. Best thing I ever did was set them up. I've never met two people more perfect for each other. They talk about their wedding constantly. I can't wait. She moves out in February to start a new(ish) life, and she deserves it. They both deserve it. My best friend since kindergarten has been with her boyfriend for a long time too. They talk about moving out a lot. Honestly, I think they'll end up married soon too but she'll deny it. She's my other half though, and I know her better than anyone else. I can feel it coming. I'm going to be the best bride's maid ever. All of my closest friends are growing up around me. Apartments, weddings, children, adventures bigger than we ever imagined. I'm just a little late to the game. I've always been the youngest but I was always mature. I never wanted to act my age or hang out with people my age. I was too serious for my own life. It was only recently I've found my way, my own life. I fit in to my age, understood the idea of living while you're young. I just found it a little too late for everyone else. So while I just adapted to the idea of being young and having fun everyone else grew up. I know all of the actual adults out there and otherwise "enlightened" people will say that I'm young and blowing things out of proportion, but I'm intelligent and very perceptive. I know what I want in life, and I know where I'm going and how I will get there. "The compass for it's needle sure that holds our course firm and secure." I am not afraid for the future. I am afraid of the present. Right now I'm standing still, looking up and taking it all in. I just want someone to stand with. I want to do it all. and I can do it all. so I will do it all.
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AlexisMaster of Fine Arts from Vermont College of Fine Arts, Rowan University alumna, sister of Theta Phi Alpha, and future YA author extraordinaire. Archives
February 2017
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is this thing on?
Bear with me while I blog for the first time ever.